理想与冲动

?本文选自《个人与群体事件的本质》第870节

你的冲动是你与内我最密切的交流，因为在清醒状态下，冲动是行动的自发驱策力，源于你从梦中获得的深层内在知识。你出生，是因为你有存在的冲动。宇宙存在，是因为它有存在的冲动。并没有外在的宇宙魔笛手（见译注），唱着魔音、吹着魔调，推动宇宙进入存在。想要存在的驱策力是由内而来的，这种驱策力多多少少在人或分子的每一次冲动、每一次行动的渴望里被重复着。如果你不信任冲动的本质，那么你就不会信任生命的本质、宇宙的本质以及你自己存在的本质。

任何动物都不至于蠢到不信赖自己生命的本质，任何婴儿也是如此。大自然是凭借信心而存在的。松鼠收集干果是凭着信心，它们坚信会有食物，坚信下一季将至，坚信冬去春会来。你们的冲动沉浸在这种叫作“信心”的特质里，因为你们相信行动的时刻是存在的，冲动才能促使你们行动起来。然而，你们的信念必定与冲动相互作用，这些信念往往会侵蚀冲动所提供的巨大、自然、有益的自发性。

当我说到冲动时，你们许多人会自动想到那些看似矛盾、危险或“邪恶”的冲动——那是因为你们如此确信自己的存在基本没有价值。你完全有权去质疑自己的冲动，选择它们，评估它们，但你必须意识到它们，承认它们的存在，因为它们将把你引向自己真正的天性。由于你们的信念系统，对有些人来说，这可能涉及一个相当长的旅程，因为你们现在的很多冲动都是压力的结果，那些压力是由过去完全正常却未被承认的冲动所引起的。但你的各种冲动都反映了你生命的那个基本冲动。即使那些冲动在某一时刻显得矛盾重重，但总体而言，仍可以看出它们形成了朝向行动的建设性模式，这模式更清晰地指向自我实现与发展的通路。

举例来说，当你在幼年时被允许有较大的自由去做想做的事时，你的天性就会十分清晰地显露出来。作为儿童，有些人喜欢文字，有些人喜欢视觉影像，有些人喜欢与物体打交道。有些人在与同时代的人打交道时表现出不凡的能力，而另一些人则自然地倾向于独处及冥想。回头看看你儿时的冲动行为，看看哪些是你最喜欢的活动。

如果你画过画，这并不一定意味着你应该是个画家。只有你知道那些冲动的强度——但如果它们始终强烈的话，就去追求它们。如果你最终只是把画画当作一种爱好，那仍然会丰富你的生活与认知。如果你的冲动引导你与他人建立关系，那么，不要让“自认为无价值”的恐惧挡了你的路。积极表达你的理想主义是很重要的，不管你能表达到什么程度，因为这会增强你的价值感与力量感。

这种行动有一种保护作用，这样你就不至于过分强调可能存在于你自己心中或社会中的、现实与理想之间的鸿沟。很多人想把世界变得更美好，但那理想似乎如此令人心生敬畏，以至于他们认为除非做出一些伟大的英雄主义壮举，或设想自己身居某些政治、宗教要职，甚或发动起义、叛乱，否则就无法取得进展。那理想似乎如此遥不可及，以至于有时任何手段——无论多么应受谴责，最终都变得似乎是正当的。要把世界变得更美好，你必须从改变自己的生活开始。别无他法。

你首先要承认自己的价值是宇宙的一部分，并给予他人同样的承认。你首先要尊重所有形式的生命。你首先要改变自己对同时代的人、你的国家、你的家人以及工作伙伴的看法。如果“爱邻如己”这个理想看起来遥不可及，那么你至少绝对不要杀害你的邻居——你的邻居就是地球上的其他任何人。

事实上，你无法爱你的邻人，除非你先爱自己。如果你相信爱自己是不对的，那么你真的无法爱任何人。

首先，你要承认自己在自然架构中的存在，要做到这一点，你必须承认那个将所有物种连在一起的庞大合作过程。如果你真的在你的国家使用自己作为个人的特权，那么你就能在日常生活中行使比现在多得多的权力。每当你肯定自己存在的正当性时，你就帮助了别人。你的精神状态是地球心灵大气的一部分。

（注：魔笛手，德国传说中的彩衣吹笛人，曾以笛音诱使镇上儿童尾随其后，一同隐入山洞而不复见。）

Your impulses are your closest communication with your inner self, because in the waking state they are the spontaneous urgings toward action, rising from that deep inner knowledge of yourself that you have in dreams. You were born because you had the impulse to be. The universe exists because it had the impulse to be. There was no exterior cosmic Pied Piper, singing magical notes or playing a magical tune, urging the universe into being. The urge to be came from within, and that urge is repeated to some extent in each impulse, each urge toward action on the part of man or molecule. If you do not trust the nature of your impulses, then you do not trust the nature of your life, the nature of the universe, or the nature of your own being.

Any animal knows better than to distrust the nature of its own life, and so does any infant. Nature exists by virtue of faith. The squirrels gather nuts in the faith that they will have provisions, in the faith that the next season will come, and that spring will follow winter. Your impulses are immersed in the quality called faith, for they urge you into action in the faith that the moment for action exists. Your beliefs must interact with your impulses, however, and often they can erode that great natural beneficial spontaneity that impulses can provide.

When I speak of impulses, many of you will automatically think of impulses that appear contradictory or dangerous or "evil" — and that is because you are so convinced of the basic unworthiness of your being. You have every right to question your impulses, to choose among them, to assess them, but you must be aware of them, acknowledge their existence, for they will lead you to your own true nature. This may involve a lengthy journey for some of you, with your belief systems, for many of your impulses now are the result of the pressure caused by perfectly normal unacknowledged ones in the past. But your impulses reflect the basic impulse of your life. Even if they appear contradictory at any given time, overall they will be seen to form constructive patterns toward action that point more clearly towards your own clear path for fulfillment and development.

Natural attributes show themselves quite clearly in early childhood, for example, when you are allowed greater freedom to do what you want to do. As children, some people love to work with words, some with images, some with objects. Some show great ability in dealing with their contemporaries, while others naturally lean toward solitude and private meditations. Look back toward the impulsive behavior of your childhood, toward those activities that mostly pleased you.

If you painted pictures, this does not mean that you necessarily should be an artist. Only you know the strength of those impulses — but if they are intense and consistent, then pursue them. If you end up simply painting as a hobby, that will still enrich your life and understanding. If your impulses lead you toward relationships with others, then do not let fears of unworthiness stand in your way. It is very important that you express your idealism actively, to whatever extent you can, for this increases your sense of worth and power.

Such action serves as a safeguard so that you do not overemphasize the gaps that may exist in yourself or in society, between the reality and the ideal condition. Many people want to change the world for the better, but that ideal seems so awe-inspiring that they think they can make no headway unless they perform some great acts of daring or heroism, or envision themselves in some political or religious place of power, or promote an uprising or rebellion. The ideal seems so remote and unreachable that, again, sometimes any means, however reprehensible, eventually can seem justified. To change the world for the better, you must begin by changing your own life. There is no other way.

You begin by accepting your own worth as a part of the universe, and by granting every other being that same recognition. You begin by honoring life in all of its forms. You begin by changing your thoughts toward your contemporaries, your country, your family, your working companions. If the ideal of loving your neighbor like yourself seems remote, you will at least absolutely refrain from killing your neighbor — and your neighbor is any other person on the face of the planet.

You cannot love your neighbor, in fact, until you love yourself, and if you believe that it is wrong to love yourself, then you are indeed unable to love anyone else.

For a start you will acknowledge your existence in the framework of nature, and to do that you must recognize the vast cooperative processes that connect each species with each other one. If you truly use your prerogatives as an individual in your country, then you can exert far more power in normal daily living than you do now. Every time you affirm the Tightness of your own existence, you help others. Your mental states are part of the planet's psychic atmosphere.