你的问候是正能量吗？

当人们生病、焦虑或恐惧时，陷入困境的第一个征兆就是愉悦感的缺乏、游戏行为的逐渐停止，以及对个人问题的过分关注。换句话说，疾病的第一个信号往往是热情与活力的缺失。

When people become ill, worried or fearful, one of the first symptoms of trouble is a lack of pleasure, a gradual discontinuance of playful action, and an over-concentration upon personal problems. In other words, illness is often first marked by a lack of zest or exuberance. 

这种愉悦感的减退使人开始减少正常的活动、新的遭遇或探索，而这些活动本身可能提供新的选择，从而有助于缓解问题。这样一个人会变得神情沮丧——板着脸闷闷不乐，让别人不由得对这样一幅沮丧的表情加以评论。评论都是诸如此类：“你看起来很累。”或：“出什么事了，你不舒服吗？”等等。这样的评论往往只加强了这个人先前的沮丧感，直到最后，这类意见交换导致了一种局面——这个人和同伴开始以一种负面而非正面的方式互动。

This retreat from pleasure begins to cut down upon normal activity, new encounters, or explorations that might in themselves help relieve the problem by opening up new options. Such a person becomes dejected looking ? unsmiling and somber, leading others to comment upon such a dejected countenance. Comments such as these: 'You look tired," or: "What's the matter, don't you feel well?" and other such remarks often simply reinforce the individual's earlier sense of dejection, until finally this same kind of give-and-take leads to a situation in which the individual and his fellows begin to intermix in a negative rather than a positive manner. 

我并无意暗示，像“你病了吗？”或“你累了吗？”这样的询问总是有害的。但这种问题的确预示了自己的答案。当一个人感觉身体很好、生气勃勃而精力充沛时，这种问题将被若无其事地推到一边——它们不会有任何影响。但不断问这种性质的问题，并不会给一个有困难的人带来帮助——事实上，过于频繁地表达同情也能使一个人的心态变差，而强调他必定病得很重，会吸引这种同情的感觉。那么，在这种情况下，不做任何评论要好得多。

I do not mean to imply that it is always detrimental to make such queries as "Are you ill?" or "Are you tired?" Such questions do indeed predict their own answers. When a person is feeling in good health, exuberant and alive, such queries will be nonchalantly shoved aside ? they will have no effect whatsoever. But constant questions of such a nature do not help an individual who is having difficulties ? and in fact too frequent expressions of compassion can also worsen a person's state of mind, stressing the idea that he or she must be very ill indeed to attract such feelings of compassion. It is far better, then, to make no comment at all under such conditions.

我在说的，不是真心关怀的问候，而是相当自动而不假思索的负面评论。

I am not speaking of genuine questions of concern so much as rather automatic, unthinking, negative comments. 

另一方面，评论他人高涨的热情、充沛的精力或饱满的精神，却是个极好的做法。以这样一种方式，你奖励了积极的行为，这可能真的会启动一连串的积极活动，而不是继续一连串的消极反应。

On the other hand, it is an excellent practice to comment upon another individual's obvious zest or energy or good spirits. In such a way, you reward positive behavior, and may indeed begin a chain of positive activity instead of continuing a chain of negative reactions. 

我并非让你们一直滔滔不绝地说出正面暗示，不管它们与当前情况有没有关系。我说的是，对任何情况，去看你最期望的解决之道，并说出那态度，要比预料最坏的结果或表达最悲惨的态度，要好得多。

I am not telling you to gush out a steady stream of positive suggestions, whether or not they bear any relation to the situation at hand. I am saying that it is far better to look on the most hoped-for solution to any situation, and to voice that attitude rather than to expect the poorest outcome, or express the most dire of attitudes. 

——摘自《健康之道》

摘译：Laujenny    美编：周周    

《赛斯说●第106期》

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